Game Reviews Need Big Stupid Numbers

B                      I                       G

Famitsu, a Japanese gaming magazine that appears in Metal Gear Solid: Peace Walker (along with a slew of other products) has given the game a perfect score. From 1986 -2008, Famitsu had only given out six perfect scores. Within the last two years, it gave out eight.

Even if we were in the golden age of video games–come on. Perfect? One of those perfect scores went to Nintendogs. You pet dogs in that game.

I don’t have as much of a problem with the games that get chosen as I do with the notion of a perfect score itself. Perfect scores should be reserved for games that have tight gameplay, stellar graphics, end world hunger and cure AIDS. Anything less would be setting the bar for perfection criminally low.

Now, this could devolve into a debate as to whether or not game review scores matter, but it won’t, because that is stupid. They do matter. Everyone likes numbers. As much as I love the way Kotaku approaches reviews, sites like IGN,  and Gamespot have gamers trained to scoff off anything below an 8. IGN will literally try to convince you that a Greatest Hits Album by Blink 182 is one-tenth of a point better than The Sims 2.

I’m not saying that numbered reviews are not helpful. Score aggregating sites like Metacritic and GameRankings are wonderful tools…to an extent.

Look at the abysmal failure that was Rogue Warrior. It currently has a Metacritic score of 28, so I think I can just go ahead and not give it any of my time. However, the games I tend to enjoy the most are not critically acclaimed blockbusters with widespread appeal. I tend to prefer more unique, quirky games– somewhat obscure titles that fair more in the 70 range when it comes to Metacrcitic.

This is were the problem lies. In OK games.

Say one guy buys a game called Robot Smasher X and kinda likes it. He writes a review for the game and gives it 70. Some other Gundam-robot-geek guy reviews it, and loves it so much he gives it a perfect score of 100. Then to round things off, Edge Magazine comes in and gives it an overly punishing review score of 50. Were does that lead us? Back to 70.

That’s not to say I don’t see value in numbering reviews. By all means, if you like gundam-robot-geek guys perspective, trust his reviews. If you don’t, why take it into account, even in a meta-score? Its best to just find a writer you feel kindred spirits with, and subscribe to their RSS feed, regardless of the site they write for, scores or no scores.

Case and point: JC Flecther just reviewed 3D Dot Game Heroes over at Joystiq. There are no numbered scores given, but in the review, he says:

“If you think the original Zelda is antiquated and no longer worth playing, you’re not going to be thrilled with 3D Dot Game Heroes. Also, you’re wrong.”

With a quote like that,  he could give the game a score of 7 out of 12 Rainbow Coins, and I’d still buy the damn thing.


About the Author